It seems that the BBC loss at the hands of ITV’s vote rigging at the 2005 Comedy Awards has caused a bit of a backlash from the press

Friday’s papers saw ITV receive universal condemnation in after it’s fine of a record £5.68m for improperly awarding the People’s Choice comedy award to stars Ant and Dec, when in fact the winner was Catherine Tate.

The Independent describes it as “a grotesque betrayal of viewers’ trust”, adding that there has been “something rotten in the ethics” of broadcasting.

The Daily Mail calls the channel “the cheats’ choice” and asks, “Can you believe a thing you see on ITV?”

While the Sun’s editorial simply says: “ITV should hang their heads in shame.”

It’s a horrible business, but lessons need to be learned rather than fingers being pointed.

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The 2005 British Comedy Peoples Choice Award has been returned by presenters Ant and Dec following the result of an inquiry into the practices of ITV phone voting.

The Catherine Tate Show had in fact received more votes, it has been revealed, with the deception emerging following media watchdog Ofcom’s audit of ITV phone voting and subsequent £5.68m fine over its misuse of premium rate phone lines.

It is believed that singer Robbie Williams had been guaranteed the opportunity to present and award to Ant and Dec, with the report stating:

“Robbie Williams was invited to present an award. It was understood that he would be happy [to do so] if the recipients were Anthony McPartlin and Declan Donnelly.

“In order to ensure his attendance, this assurance was given.”

So if anything good can be taken from this, it is that Tate at last has the opportunity to receive the award (although whether she would want it now after all that has happened is a different matter).

The truth is, ITV have irreparably damaged the Comedy Awards to fulfill their own self interests.

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Nice to see Kris Marshall is recovering from his recent accident - following the sad loss of Humphrey Lyttleton last week I was a little reluctant to wish him well in case this very blog had some sort of curse attached to it.

Of course it is life and death.  We can quite easily wish someone to get well soon regardless of what subsequently happens to us, simply because we have a fondness for that someone, and don’t want to lose them.

Comedians come and go, as do musicians.  It’s rare to see careers continue for so many years as we saw with Humph, and sad as it is that we lost him, he must have had a very varied and enjoyable life.

After all, he enjoyed the silliness of I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue, and you could hear in his voice that he loved the show.  To have something as big as that to keep you going and entertained in such advanced years - well I think that is something we should all strive for.

So best of luck Kris Marshall in your recovery, and get well soon.

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You won’t feel that you have any choice once you’ve sat through this - BBC News have announced that Mong and Bint’s James Corden and Mathew Horne have signed up to make a new comedy sketch show for BBC Three.

I shit you not.

Worse, the once respected television corporation have described it as: “traditional comedy entertainment show in the style of Morecambe and Wise”

Which is tantamount to sacrilege. What business do a moon headed clip and his fat mate who couldn’t write an original gang if he was possessed by Marty Feldman have attempting to be Morecambe & Wise?

Jesus, what the hell is going on here? What next?

This really is an insult not only to Eric and Ernie but to our sensibilities. Mong and Bint is as funny as Auschwitz, award or no award - how come the pair of nomarks have this particular gig when Vic and Bob aren’t on TV, when legitimate double acts around the country are converging on Edinburgh this summer to get their work noticed?

The BBC is letting us all down, not least Corden and Horne who are way out of their depth.

Demand your licence fee back! (Or just don’t watch it)

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3 and Out is the new comedy movie starring Mackenzie Crook (Gareth from The Office) about a man trying to get paid off from his job as a London tube driver by killing a third suicider in as many weeks.

Typically for “Whinge Britain” - the land in which everyone has to have something to complain about - tube drivers have taken exception to this. You can feel the tears welling up, can’t you?

So Crook and his costars have got together to defend the movie, and rightly so.

Drivers’ union Aslef has criticised the film for its “insulting” storyline.

Crook, who said he was “very proud” of the British-made movie, said he was “disappointed” people had been “jumping to conclusions”.

“They’re imagining we’ve made a very distasteful, bad-taste film, which we haven’t,” he said while promoting Three and Out in central London.

The movie also features Colm Meaney (ex of Star Trek, Far and Away) who said that the film was more about relationships than suicide.

“It’s about two guys who meet in the most bizarre circumstances, become friends and learn to care about each other.”

“I don’t think anyone involved in the film would argue that suicide is a laughing matter,” he told BBC News.

“But this film is not about suicide, and I think anyone who sees the film will see that clearly.”

London Underground allowed filming of the movie at stations, which also carry promotional posters for the film that is released on 25 April, and is directed by Jonathan Gershfield.

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…and so it continues, with a feature in The Guardian about Marcus Brigstocke’s comedy ski fest in the French Alpine town of Meribel.

Tragically, Brigstocke had spent £25,000 of his own money on the event before heavy snow forced him to fork out another £5,000 on snow melting equipment to rescue the marquee.

Did someone mention global warming? 

This truly is twattish middle class smugness of a most repulsive degree. To say that I am outraged and disgusted would be evocative of a letter to Points of View; yet this is how I feel.

“I am at the point,” he says, “where it hurts on a daily basis. But the thing is, I don’t much care whether this makes money. Because fundamentally, this festival is just such a great idea.”

“Great idea” - that’s a laugh. What is great about it, exactly? Allowing you to ski and work at the same time? Cake and eat it, did someone say?

“The stand-ups who come and don’t go up the hill,” says Brigstocke, “if it were up to me, I’d never ask them back. I take that as a personal affront.”

Wanker.

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If it wasn’t sickening enough to see that Marcus Brigstocke hosts an annual comedy festival at a ski resort, the old corporate gig seems to be raising its profile, with a recent business course from LearnDirect employing the services of comedy actors Ricky Gervais, Hugh Laurie, Dawn French and James Nesbitt.

I mean - yes, I obviously sound extremely working class saying this - but come on, have some integrity!

I could accept perhaps a small gig in the Alps.  Perhaps a course on comedy employing the services of these famous names.

But business?  Ski resort comedy festivals?

What next, Edinburgh Festival moves to an ice palace, or Monte Carlo?

These people know who they are, and they should be ashamed of themselves.  It is making a mockery of the comedy industry, and you should all think very carefully about what you’re doing.

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Evidently having paid some attention to his critics, it appears that Ben Elton has decided to put the sell-out that was We Will Rock You behind him and start working properly in the world of comedy.  Admittedly Teenage Kicks is probably not his best work (more on that later in the week), but he’s also raised some valid points about the treatment of a certain religious group in the comedy arena.

Elton believes the BBC is too scared to broadcast jokes about Muslims.

Looking at the evidence, you can quite easily see why he might think this.  He was speaking to Christian magazine “The Third Way” and describing an incident in which he was part of a writing team:

“I wanted to use the phrase ‘Muhammad came to the mountain’ and everybody said, ‘Oh, don’t! Just don’t! Don’t go there!’

“It was nothing to do with Islam, I was merely referring to the old proverb, ‘If the mountain won’t come to Muhammad, Muhammad must go to the mountain.’ And people said, ‘Let’s just not!’”

“I’m quite certain that the average Muslim does not want everybody going around thinking,’We can’t mention you. We’ve just got to pretend you don’t exist because we’re scared that somebody who claims to represent you will threaten to kill us.’”

He is of course absolutely right to raise this as an issue, and it is a pity that more has not been made of this, it is a debate that needs to be engaged in.

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