The Carry On series ran from 1958 till 1978 and other than a brief stop off in the New World in 1992’s Carry On Columbus has never managed to get back on its feet.  Personally I would fund a new movie like a shot if I had the money… perhaps producers should consider a public funding project?

As for casting - well they need a team don’t they, a company of the best of British comedy acting talent who could happily be drawn from for any future releases.

However I digress.  Back in March during the film series 50th anniversary, the Telegraph featured a list of possible Carry On film plots.  Some nice ideas included in these, which I’ve copied below.

Carry On Up the Khyber. An update of the classic, in which a beleaguered force of British reporters in Afghanistan are up against overwhelming odds as they attempt to keep to themselves the news that a member of the Royal Family is serving in the Army. But will the enemy on an Australian website scoop them before they get a chance to file their exclusive? With Rupert Grint of the Harry Potter films as Prince Barry, Jonathan Ross as Jon Slush and Ross Kemp as himself.

Carry On at the Olympics. Unlikely farce in which dozens of local swimming pools are closed in order to finance the building of one, which is only going to be open for a fortnight.

Carry On Texting. Youth-oriented instalment, scripted entirely in text speak. Stars Hardeep Singh Kohli as Hp Sn Ko.

Carry On Holding. Ricky Gervais is the manager of a call centre in Slough. When an Indian outsourcing agency undercuts its prices, Gervais attempts to keep his clients happy by adopting a comedy Indian accent. Please note that this is not insensitive, as Gervais is making fun of those who make fun of foreign accents, rather than making fun of the accent itself.

Carry On Global Warming. A modern version of those 1970s Cointreau adverts in which the sophisticated French bloke whispers “…and gradually the ice melts”. Except without the “gradually”.

Carry On Chancellor. Originally to be called Carry On Boring, the title was changed so as not to give offence to the underground tunnelling community. A failing politician is saved from humiliation when it is discovered that he does have useful purpose after all: his ability to induce profound sleep saves the NHS millions in anaesthetic costs. With Jimmy Carr as Alistair Boring.

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