There’s only one way the Jamaican sprinters can be that fast and not be that bothered about breaking the world 100m record.

I have it on good authority that an abandoned dog track in South London has been the home of Jamaica’s Olympic sprinters, where their coach works on their speed in training by sellotaping a fat spliff to the hare and making the athletes run as fast as they can until they catch it.

It can’t be natural that they’re running that fast anyway.  If it was, our colonial ancestors would have had Jamaican postmen.

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